You'll Never See Me Naked

comics, essays, and more from an anxious, androgynous, aromantic, atheist asexual with adhd

You'll Never See Me Naked

The first panel, in shades of grey with accents of purple and red, shows the artist - a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt - lounging on a sofa, chatting on her cellphone. The anthropomorphic representation of her virginity - a white rectangle with arms and legs and a large red V on the front sits on the other end of the couch holding a TV remote. The artist is saying to someone on the phone, "Oh, hey. Not much, just hanging out with my V-Card."

Comics

Origin Story

It occurred to me that newer readers might be wondering why an anthropomorphic rectangle with a large red ‘V’ shows up in so many cartoons.

In the first panel, in shades of grey with accents of purple, the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt, looks down and gestures to no one in particular. On the wall behind her is a white poster with a picture of the artist in an Uncle Sam-type hat giving the thumbs up to the camera with an awkward smile. The word 'Vote' is above the picture, and the word 'M.C.' is below it. The artist is saying, "Sometimes I think, if I really want to do some good in this world, I should run for local office. I'm smart, I'm eloquent, I'd never have to worry about a sex scandal..."

Comics

A Political Indictment

Every election season I think about running for local office to make a difference, and every time I remember I would absolutely suck at it.

The first panel, in shades of grey with purple accents, a caption at the top says, "The global pandemic really affirmed my realization that I don't need to look 'conventionally attractive' if I'm not trying to 'attract' anyone." Below that is a list of 'Helpful Steps to Not Giving a Damn' with tick marks next to the items 'self-isolation,' 'work-from-home,' and 'mask that covers my face on the rare occasions I go outside.' The image is that of the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt. She's showing off a cloth face mask designed to look like the asexual flag. In the bottom right corner, the caption continues, "This results in:"

Comics

Broken Magnet

As Covid surges and the mask ‘debate’ returns, I was reminded of this cartoon I first drew in 2020, newly stylized and still relevant.

In the first panel, the artist - a young woman with short hair, wearing a purple t-shirt and holding a microphone - stands in front of a grey curtain. There's a spotlight on her as she says, "Now, I may be sensitive to it - being a card carrier for 38 years and counting - but it seems like there's been an increase in 'virgin jokes' in the media lately."

Comics

Acceptable Targets

If you want to make jokes about the terrible attitudes of so-called involuntary celibates, be my guest, but the fact that they’re virgins isn’t what makes them despicable humans.

In the first panel, the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt, holds up a hand and says, "Okay, let me make sure I understand."

Comics

Time Management

I realized I was probably aromantic when the idea of dating became a chore rather than a goal.

Single panel comic with the title 'Asexual Candy Hearts.' The candy hearts are in shades of purple and grey. Counter-clockwise from the top they have the following messages in cutesy abbreviated text speak: 'No Thanks,' 'Love Does Not Equal Sex,' 'Ace It,' 'No Fucks Given,' and 'Challenge the Conventional Wisdom of How Relationships are Supposed to Work,' which is a quote from ACE by Angela Chen.

Comics

Start a Conversation

This Valentine’s Day, tell your crush you don’t want to have sex with them with a quote from ACE by Angela Chen.

In the first panel, in shades of grey with accents of red, a muppet-esque character dressed like a puritan with a scarlet letter A on her clothes, says, "I don't know about this Scarlet Letter skit, M.C. Are you sure it's a good idea to teach kids about adultery?" She's addressing the artist, a young woman with short hair, wearing a purple shirt with a red A badge, whose hands are on her hips.

Comics

The Scarlet Letters

Adultery isn’t the only word beginning with ‘A’ that no one wants to talk about.

The first panel shows the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple tshirt and dark grey pants, walking alongside the anthropomorphic representation of her virginity, a rectangle with arms and legs and a large red V down the front. The artist carries a paper bag with a red plus sign on the outside and complains, "It's scary that so many places are trying to restrict access to birth control. God forbid women have hobbies."

Comics

You’re Welcome

I no longer have to hunt villagers while taking persistent bleed damage, in order to satisfy my hormone-fueled bloodlust. Win-win.