You'll Never See Me Naked

comics, essays, and more from an anxious, androgynous, aromantic, atheist asexual with adhd

Author: M.D. Christopher

The first panel, in shades of grey with accents of purple and red, shows the artist - a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt - lounging on a sofa, chatting on her cellphone. The anthropomorphic representation of her virginity - a white rectangle with arms and legs and a large red V on the front sits on the other end of the couch holding a TV remote. The artist is saying to someone on the phone, "Oh, hey. Not much, just hanging out with my V-Card."

Comics

Origin Story

It occurred to me that newer readers might be wondering why an anthropomorphic rectangle with a large red ‘V’ shows up in so many cartoons.

In the first panel, in shades of grey with accents of purple, the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt, looks down and gestures to no one in particular. On the wall behind her is a white poster with a picture of the artist in an Uncle Sam-type hat giving the thumbs up to the camera with an awkward smile. The word 'Vote' is above the picture, and the word 'M.C.' is below it. The artist is saying, "Sometimes I think, if I really want to do some good in this world, I should run for local office. I'm smart, I'm eloquent, I'd never have to worry about a sex scandal..."

Comics

A Political Indictment

Every election season I think about running for local office to make a difference, and every time I remember I would absolutely suck at it.

The first panel, in shades of grey with purple accents, a caption at the top says, "The global pandemic really affirmed my realization that I don't need to look 'conventionally attractive' if I'm not trying to 'attract' anyone." Below that is a list of 'Helpful Steps to Not Giving a Damn' with tick marks next to the items 'self-isolation,' 'work-from-home,' and 'mask that covers my face on the rare occasions I go outside.' The image is that of the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt. She's showing off a cloth face mask designed to look like the asexual flag. In the bottom right corner, the caption continues, "This results in:"

Comics

Broken Magnet

As Covid surges and the mask ‘debate’ returns, I was reminded of this cartoon I first drew in 2020, newly stylized and still relevant.

Essays

See Something, Say Something, Do Something

A few years ago, when the world shut down and we all spent time getting more introspective than was strictly healthy, I started saving relatable anecdotes I found online to a Pinterest board. It wasn’t long before I noticed the algorithm had picked up a theme. But surely, I argued to myself, it was just a coincidence that I found those tales of ADHD so relatable.

Essays

Would You, Could You, Eat a Dragon?

When food is the central love language that binds people together, what place is there for those of us who don’t want to be fed? If “eating is[…]the exclusive privilege of the living,” does that make me simply the walking dead? You can’t be a picky eater in the dungeon. Okay, but – hear me out – what if you are?

In the first panel, the artist - a young woman with short hair, wearing a purple t-shirt and holding a microphone - stands in front of a grey curtain. There's a spotlight on her as she says, "Now, I may be sensitive to it - being a card carrier for 38 years and counting - but it seems like there's been an increase in 'virgin jokes' in the media lately."

Comics

Acceptable Targets

If you want to make jokes about the terrible attitudes of so-called involuntary celibates, be my guest, but the fact that they’re virgins isn’t what makes them despicable humans.