You'll Never See Me Naked - Page 4 of 5 - comics, essays, and more from an anxious, androgynous, aromantic, atheist asexual with adhd

comics, essays, and more from an anxious, androgynous, aromantic, atheist asexual with adhd

You'll Never See Me Naked

The second and final panel shows the artist, wearing black with cat ears and painted on whiskers, holding up a tiny witch's hat and broom to an unimpressed black cat lounging on a cat tree. She says, "Come on, the dog did it for years." Above the image is a checked list item: I have to do couples' costumes with my pets.

October 16, 2020

Living Solo III: Halloween Edition

One year I dressed my 80lb German Shepherd/labrador mix up as the 11th Dogtor and I went as his TARDIS.

The first panel, in shades of grey and purple, show the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt. She's leaning with her cheek on her fist, looking thoughtfully up to the left. She says, "Sometimes I think if I really want to do some good in the world, I should run for local office. I'm smart, I'm eloquent, I'd never have to worry about sex scandal-"

October 9, 2020

Unsuitable Candid-Ace

I would possibly be the world’s worst politician. Well, okay, I’d have some stiff competition.

In the second and final panel, the artist, a young woman with short hair, wearing a purple t-shirt and shorts, is trying to take a selfie in a contorted pose, as if in the middle of a game of Twister. She's thinking, 'This is so uncomfortable,' while grinning maniacally at the camera. Below the image is a checked line item that reads, 'There's only one model for reference photos.'

October 2, 2020

Living Solo II

If I lived with someone, I would force them to be my puppet.

The first panel, in shades of grey and purple, shows the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple tshirt, lounging on the couch, resting her head on her hand. The anthropomorphic representation of her virginity, her V-Card, leans its arms over the back of the sofa. The V-Card asks, "Are you watching ANOTHER British crime drama?"

September 25, 2020

Lie Back and Think of England

I’ve lived my entire life in Southern California. I can’t handle “weather.”

The second and final panel shows the artist, a young woman with short hair, dressed in a Shakespearean doublet, kneeling on the ground, holding a head of lettuce as if it's a skull. The artist says, "Alas, poor iceberg, you shall rot long before I canst eat thee." Above the image is a checked-off item as if from a longer list that says, 'There's no such thing as single-serve lettuce.'

September 18, 2020

Living Solo I

I knew him, Horatio: a lettuce of infinite jest.

The first panel shows a Netflix menu screen for the 2000 Baby-sitters Club series. Off panel, the artist exclaims, "Oh, man, I was OBSESSED with those books as a kid."

September 11, 2020

No Mitzvah

Anyone else develop unrealistic expectations about adolescence from media as a child that left you unable to cope with reality?

The first panel, in shades of grey and purple, shows the artist, a young woman with short hair and a purple shirt, holding a face mask, designed to look like the ace flag, by one strap. Above the mask is a check list titled 'Helpful Tips to Not Giving a. Damn - 1) self-isolation, 2) work-from-home, 3) mask that covers my face on the rare occasions I go outside.' The caption reads, 'The global pandemic has really affirmed my realization that I don't need to look 'conventionally attractive' if I'm not trying to 'attract' anyone. This results in:"

September 4, 2020

Like a Broken Magnet

I give no fucks, I want no fucks.

First panel in shades of grey and purple. The artist, with short hair and a purple t-shirt, appears to be talking to someone out of the frame. She says, "Yeah, things have been a little tough lately, my anxiety went off the charts and I live alone, so... I got a cat."

August 28, 2020

My New Roommate

I’m a dog person.

Cartoon panels in shades of grey and purple. The first is a rectangular panel zoomed in on a hand holding a miniature of a D&D character over a hexagonal map. A purple D20 has rolled a nat 20. Over the top, the narration reads, 'A couple of years ago, I started playing Dungeons & Dragons as a half-elf bard. And I committed to the part.' Beneath that panel are three panels showing that half-elf bard. In the first she plays a lute under the caption 'The Performance,' and says, "Let me sing you the song of my people." In the second panel, under the caption 'The Spells,' she says, "I cast - Vicious Mockery!" In the third panel, under the caption 'The Seduction,' the blonde half-elf leans on her long bow and winks at the reader.

January 24, 2020

Bardic Inspiration

Evidence suggests that if I experienced sexual attraction, the world would be in serious trouble.

First panel of a cartoon asks the reader to play 'That Ain't Asexual.' The text notes that the following are some words commonly (and incorrectly) associated with asexuality. The first image is of an older man dressed as a Catholic priest. He says, "Celibacy and abstinence are the conscious choices to refrain from sex while still finding it attractive." Asexuality is not a choice. The next image shows a severe looking woman in a Victorian dress who seems to whisper, "A prude is someone easily shocked by sex or nudity." While some Aces are repulsed by sex, others have, and even enjoy, it.

October 23, 2019

That Ain’t Asexual

What is asexuality? Well, I’ll tell you what it’s not.

See Something, Say Something, Do Something
A few years ago, when the world shut down and we all spent time getting more introspective than was strictly healthy, I started saving relatable anecdotes I found online to a Pinterest board. It wasn't long before I noticed the algorithm had picked up a theme. But surely, I argued to myself, it was just a coincidence that I found those tales of ADHD so relatable.
Would You, Could You, Eat a Dragon?
When food is the central love language that binds people together, what place is there for those of us who don’t want to be fed? If “eating is[…]the exclusive privilege of the living,” does that make me simply the walking dead? You can’t be a picky eater in the dungeon. Okay, but – hear me out – what if you are?
Matters of Representation (Because Representation Matters)
It's no small thing to see yourself positively reflected in something someone else has made. It's proof that you're not alone, that you're not broken, or wrong, or any of the other things we tell ourselves when we grow up and don't see a friendly face in society's mirror.