You'll Never See Me Naked

comics, essays, and more from an anxious, androgynous, aromantic, atheist asexual with adhd

Tagged: ace

In the first panel, in shades of grey with spots of bright green, the caption reads, "I wish there was a big box store for gender expression outside the 'norm.'" Below that is a cartoon character comprised of both the symbols for male and female with a speaker for a mouth that says, "Welcome to Gender-Mart. Gender is construct, let's get building!" A stack of bright green Gender-Mat shopping baskets sits at its feet.

Comics

Choose Your Own Adventure

I frequently wish there was a place where I could exchange my uterus for something useful – like a toaster oven.

In the first panel, in shades of grey, the artist - a young woman with short hair wearing a purple shirt - holds a microphone. She appears to be standing in a spotlight in front of a curtain as she says, "If you're new here, you might be asking - what the hell is 'asexual?'"

Comics

Another Stand-Up Comic

I’m probably not getting a set at the Improv any time soon, but this material kills in my apartment.

In the first panel, in shades of grey, the artist - a young woman with short hair wearing a purple shirt - holds a microphone and appears to be standing in a spotlight in front of a curtain. She says, "When I first came out as asexual, I identified as 'romantic.'"

Comics

My Tight Ten

Sometimes, especially after binge-watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I imagine a career in stand-up comedy.

In the first panel, against a light lavender background, a speech bubble says, "Hey kids! It's time for the incredible adventures of" leading into the stylized title 'The Invisible Ace,' with a spade around the 'A' in Ace.

Comics

My Superpower

When asked what superpower I’d like to have, I always say teleportation – because I already have invisibility and I hate driving.

The first panel, in shades of grey and purple, shows the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt, holding a card and a stamp in her left hand. She says, "Let's see - I taught myself to crochet last week, so...I think...yes-"

Comics

Consolation Prize

In Shakespeare’s time, leading apes into hell was the fate that awaited old maids.

The first panel shows a rack of assorted clothing. They've been colored with the shades of various pride flags. The caption says, "For me, labels are like clothing."

Comics

Outfit Yourself

This is essentially a long way of saying I think labels are best if you choose them yourself.

The first panel, in shades of grey and purple, show the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt. She's leaning with her cheek on her fist, looking thoughtfully up to the left. She says, "Sometimes I think if I really want to do some good in the world, I should run for local office. I'm smart, I'm eloquent, I'd never have to worry about sex scandal-"

Comics

Unsuitable Candid-Ace

I would possibly be the world’s worst politician. Well, okay, I’d have some stiff competition.