You'll Never See Me Naked

comics, essays, and more from an anxious, androgynous, aromantic, atheist asexual with adhd

Tagged: v-card

The first panel, in shades of grey with accents of purple and red, shows the artist - a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt - lounging on a sofa, chatting on her cellphone. The anthropomorphic representation of her virginity - a white rectangle with arms and legs and a large red V on the front sits on the other end of the couch holding a TV remote. The artist is saying to someone on the phone, "Oh, hey. Not much, just hanging out with my V-Card."

Comics

Origin Story

It occurred to me that newer readers might be wondering why an anthropomorphic rectangle with a large red ‘V’ shows up in so many cartoons.

In the first panel, in shades of grey with accents of purple, the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt, looks down and gestures to no one in particular. On the wall behind her is a white poster with a picture of the artist in an Uncle Sam-type hat giving the thumbs up to the camera with an awkward smile. The word 'Vote' is above the picture, and the word 'M.C.' is below it. The artist is saying, "Sometimes I think, if I really want to do some good in this world, I should run for local office. I'm smart, I'm eloquent, I'd never have to worry about a sex scandal..."

Comics

A Political Indictment

Every election season I think about running for local office to make a difference, and every time I remember I would absolutely suck at it.

The first panel shows the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple tshirt and dark grey pants, walking alongside the anthropomorphic representation of her virginity, a rectangle with arms and legs and a large red V down the front. The artist carries a paper bag with a red plus sign on the outside and complains, "It's scary that so many places are trying to restrict access to birth control. God forbid women have hobbies."

Comics

You’re Welcome

I no longer have to hunt villagers while taking persistent bleed damage, in order to satisfy my hormone-fueled bloodlust. Win-win.

In the first panel, in shades of grey with spots of bright green, the caption reads, "I wish there was a big box store for gender expression outside the 'norm.'" Below that is a cartoon character comprised of both the symbols for male and female with a speaker for a mouth that says, "Welcome to Gender-Mart. Gender is construct, let's get building!" A stack of bright green Gender-Mat shopping baskets sits at its feet.

Comics

Choose Your Own Adventure

I frequently wish there was a place where I could exchange my uterus for something useful – like a toaster oven.

The first panel, in shades of grey, shows a t-shirt for sale online with the phrase 'If you can read this, you realy need to get laid' written in leet speak, with numbers in place of letters. A speech bubble from off panel says, "I don't get it."

Comics

Programming Humor

I spent entirely too much time thinking about a ‘programming humor’ t-shirt I saw online.

The first panel, in shades of grey and purple, show the artist, a young woman with short hair wearing a purple t-shirt. She's leaning with her cheek on her fist, looking thoughtfully up to the left. She says, "Sometimes I think if I really want to do some good in the world, I should run for local office. I'm smart, I'm eloquent, I'd never have to worry about sex scandal-"

Comics

Unsuitable Candid-Ace

I would possibly be the world’s worst politician. Well, okay, I’d have some stiff competition.